


Kaidan Versus The Evil Dead

by thebaby01



Series: MShenko After the Reaper War [4]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Anal Sex, Arguing, Blow Jobs, Bodily Fluids, Couch Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, M/M, Shenko Smut Thursday October 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 10:11:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16195424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebaby01/pseuds/thebaby01
Summary: Kaidan hated scary movies. It wasn’t that they scared him or gave him nightmares, it was that no matter how random or stupid, or obvious, he always, always, always fell for jump scares. He hated them. The only reason he was sitting and watching The Evil Dead was because John had begged him. That was how much he loved him...enough to endure anything...even abject humiliation.





	Kaidan Versus The Evil Dead

**Author's Note:**

> For Shenko Smut Thursday October 4, 2018 Theme: Shivers [Find me on Tumblr sublimesoulpeanut](%E2%80%9Dsublimesoulpeanut.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D)

Kaidan hated scary movies. It wasn’t that they scared him or gave him nightmares, it was that no matter how random or stupid, or obvious, he always, always, always fell for jump scares. He hated them. The only reason he was sitting and watching _The Evil Dead_ was because John had begged him. That was how much he loved him...enough to endure anything...even abject humiliation.

That was why he was so frustrated now. Shepard had plopped down next to him on the couch and started the movie and then, about ten minutes in, had abandoned him. So now he wasn’t even getting cuddles out of the deal. _“Keep watching Kaidan, I’ll be right back.”_ He rolled his eyes. _He always does this. I don’t know why I’m still watching. I should just turn it off until he comes back…_

Kaidan jumped as on-screen, hands suddenly shot through the floorboards and grabbed Ash. His heart pounding, Kaidan jumped again as the back door opened and John stepped in, a truly irritating smirk on his face. “Nervous, Kaidan?”

He’d already turned around to face the screen, ignoring the smirk and the question, and trying to slow his pulse and resist the urge to check the mirror for new gray hairs. _This can’t be good for me._

He was concentrating so hard on the screen, and on ignoring Shepard and his smarmy smug-ness, that he jumped again when a freezing cold nose and lips brushed the side of his neck. He grit his teeth at the breathy laugh he heard.

“You suck.”

“Why are you so jumpy?”

“I told you this is why I don’t watch these movies! I was only doing it for you, and then you left me, and now you come back in here and try to freeze me...you suck.”

Kaidan flinched and pulled away as cold lips touched another spot on his neck. “Stop. You’re cold.”

“I know. I’m trying to warm up.”

“Warm up somewhere else. I’m grumpy at you.”

Kaidan realized what was happening much too late. He tried to escape, but Shepard managed to snag just enough of his shirt to pull him back onto the couch before launching himself over the back of it, straddling Kaidan’s lap. He then proceeded to run his ice cold hands over every inch of skin he could reach.

“You asshole!” Kaidan squirmed and cursed as goosebumps erupted everywhere Shepard touched. Chills ran across his stomach and up his chest, down his sides and onto his back. He stopped at Kaidan’s shoulders, hands still under the shirt and leaned in for a kiss.

“Much more warm now.”

Kaidan barely resisted shoving him onto the floor. An idea formed in his mind and he smiled. _This will be fun._ Instead of shoving, he slid a hand down the back of John’s pants, gently squeezing his ass. “Why would you want to torture me like that? I love you, and we both know there are much better ways that I could warm you up.” He ended by brushing his fingers across the growing bulge in the front of John’s pants. He watched as John struggled to form a reply.

“You’re my heater. I need you. You wouldn’t want me to... lose any important body parts...would you?”

“Of course not.” Kaidan leaned in, brushing a light kiss across his lips, enjoying watching him squirm. He looked into John’s slightly dazed eyes as he unzipped his pants and reached inside, wrapping his hand around hard and very hot flesh, “Hmm...stiff, but doesn’t feel frozen to me.”

A soft groan and, “See? You rescued me just in time.”

“Uh huh. I think I should do a more thorough inspection.”

He smiled at the “oh fuck” that slipped free as he laid Shepard out on the couch, pulling his shirt up high enough to expose his chest and his pants to his knees. He straddled him, grabbed one of hands, and slid it down the back of his sweats, “Can you feel that.”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Kaidan reached for his other hand and then had to pause, steadying himself as he felt John’s fingers slide into his crack and gently brush across his hole. “That is not part of the test.”

“Manual dexterity. Very important.”

“You’re bad, but possibly right, so I’ll let it go.”

Kaidan grabbed his other hand and slid it into his pants, letting him feel his dick. “And that? Can you feel that?” He moaned as John began stroking him, sending pleasure rushing through his body. “That’ll be a yes then.”

He ran his hands up John’s body and across his nipples. “This too?”

“Mmm…”

He got a disappointed groan as he pulled away to work his way down John’s body, but got three yeses as he licked down his chest, across his belly button and both hip bones. When he licked between his thighs and sucked each of his balls into his mouth he got a very nice “oh Kaidan fuck” and an “oh god”, that made him smile.

“I guess that counts as a yes. One last thing to check.”

John’s hips bucked as Kaidan wrapped his erection in his fist and stroked. He smiled at the drawn out groan he heard as he leaned down to lick up the precum that had leaked onto Shepard’s stomach. He could see muscles flex each time his tongue made contact. He had to put his other hand on John’s hip to try and keep him still while he sucked and licked around the head, and continued stroking the shaft. John’s legs were twitching, his hands were clenched so tight in the cushions his fingers were pale. Kaidan couldn’t resist…he looked up John’s body and straight into his eyes.

“How does this feel?”

John’s head fell back against the cushion as he answered, “so good...you’re killing me.”

Kaidan smiled and then moved in close to kiss him. “It seems like everything here is working just fine. No permanent damage. I’m going back to my movie now.”

He grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch, moved back to his corner, wrapped himself up and went right on watching....lost now because of the distraction, but watching.

John laid there for another minute or two before standing up, fixing his clothes, and walking straight to the bathroom. Kaidan ignored him and the ache in his groin and tried to focus on the TV.

That was of course precisely why he jumped when 5 minutes later the bathroom door suddenly opened.

“Dammit! Why do I always fall for that stupid…,” Kaidan trailed off as he turned and stared as John walked out, completely nude, completely hard, stopped in front of him, wrapped his hands around his thighs to pull him towards the edge of the couch, climbed into his lap, and kissed the fuck out of him.

The kiss was so good Kaidan moaned into John’s mouth before he could stop himself. He felt his dick harden as John sucked his bottom lip and he felt the scrape of teeth before it was released. He felt John’s fingers wind through his hair right before a tug had him exposing his throat so the kisses and licks could move there. He found himself panting as teeth and warm breath and that tongue sent desire racing through his body.

He pushed John away from him and only squirmed a little when John’s body brushed over his erection.

“You really shouldn’t be blocking my view.”

“I am seriously impressed with your ability to hold a grudge...oooo that’s another one we could watch for Halloween.”

“John…”

“What?”

“You left me in here to watch this one alone. You knew I was only doing it for you, and you left me anyway. Then you laughed when I reacted exactly the way I told you I would and then you came in here and froze me after you laughed at me. I need to hold a grudge and I am so not watching that movie—”, he was interrupted by a hand over his mouth and John tugging down his sweats, exposing the erection he’d been trying to ignore.

“Kaidan, I love you. I’m sorry that I left you, but I just went out to get some wood for the fire and got distracted by some animals. I’m sorry I laughed, but you being scared by anything is amazing to me because of how brave I know you are and how brave I’ve seen you be. It was a complete novelty to me, but I should've been more gentle when it was an obvious sore spot for you. The cold hands? You were totally into it. Now would you please accept my apology and fuck me? I’m dying here.”

Kaidan blinked...trying to absorb all of the information...getting stuck at the love and then at the fucking…, “wait, what…?” He never finished the thought because suddenly all he could think of was panic and sex and cumming really fucking hard as John shifted slightly and sank fully onto Kaidan’s dick.

All Kaidan could do was moan and pant and try to keep from thrusting as his panic gave way to the realization that John had prepped himself in the bathroom and he hadn’t just seriously injured him. “You want me to have gray hair don’t you? The scares? This is all about giving me more grays.”

“You found me out. That was my master plan all along.” John laughed a breathy moan slipping out as the movement tightened him around Kaidan causing sensation to flare up his spine. “No. Not to freak you out; I was just being impatient. You make me give the longest speech of my life and then you talk more,” John leaned in to kiss him, “Fuck me.”

Kaidan scooted down slightly to get a better angle, grabbed onto John’s hips, and started thrusting.

There was no way he was going to last this way. His thighs were burning, every muscle was tense, the pleasure in his gut was coiling tighter and it was all he could do to keep it from snapping. John was so tight around him it was driving him mad and the noises slipping from him each time a thrust hit the right spot were just amping him up even more.

He was doing pretty well until John leaned forward and kissed him, trailing his lips across Kaidan’s jaw and down to his neck, close to his ear. John’s breathy pants along with this little “oh, Kaidan” that slipped out were enough for him to break. He pulled out and came across his stomach, stroking himself through an orgasm that seemed like it would never stop.

Kaidan slowly realized that he could feel John’s legs shaking on either side of his and feel him panting out “please” between shuddering breaths against his neck. He pushed him up straight, leaned forward, and slid his dick into his mouth. He tasted salt, sweat, and an immediate spurt of precum that made him groan. John grabbed his shoulders and started to thrust, desperate to come, but trying not to go too deep. He froze, a deep groan breaking from his chest as the first pulse of his release hit Kaidan’s tongue. Kaidan pulled him in close and swallowed the rest as John shook above him. When John was done Kaidan pulled him down into a kiss before flopping back against the couch.

John leaned to the side and sprawled across the couch, trying to recover. Kaidan got up to clean himself and check the couch for spots. They’d gone with easy clean and stain resistant, but couldn’t hurt. He came back with a warm cloth for John and pulled his own pants back on. He laughed when he realized the credits were playing for the movie. He sat down and leaned over to kiss John. “You really were sorry weren’t you?”

John laughed, “What gave me away?”

“I think it was the ‘I love you’, or maybe the hot sex. If I start the movie at the last place I remember would you watch the rest of it with me? Hold me if I get scared? Keep the chills away? You can be my heater.”

“You’re Canadian. You never actually get cold, but yes I will.”


End file.
